Prayer: I place my feeble soul in your hands to ensure a minimum of pain, sickness, and calamities during my monthly cycle. Hear my fervent and sincere prayers that you will keep water retention and bloating at bay. Protect and help my loved ones with their burden and ensure a steady supply of chocolate and ibuprofen. Amen

Directions for Use: Light candle at first sign of approaching mood swing. Repeat prayer three times while hiding all knives and sharp objects. In an emergency situation throw unlit candle at significant other. Good Luck!